Life hack

I am extremely awake today. Like, actually. I feel as though I am a magnet for depressed people, or maybe, I am a depressed person. Either way, I am really awake today and conscious of my thoughts, feelings and truth. I have had a long week, already. I am not a victim. I notably acknowledge my choices and how much of an inward mess I am. I seriously have tons of issues I need to resolve in these next few years…

It is okay to be broken people! It is okay to honestly want better for yourself and fail at obtaining it. What is not okay is staying there. What is not okay is allowing anyone to cause more harm to your self-esteem. I know how it feels to be the fucked up person in a friendship or relationship; now I want better. BUT HOW DO I GET IT? This… I still haven’t mastered…

I continuously fail at my sobriety! I need to be sober and I fail at it. I went out Monday night and got hammered and slept over a coworkers house. She was cool about my drunkenness, cause we were both hammered. But I had to wake up to my reality and that is something I did not plan when I was drinking… I did not plan on being sober again… AND here I am, sober and sane.

I want to always be sober. I just dont know how… I get so anxious and stressed out… I hang out with broken people to calm my fear of being imperfect.. They help me accept myself. They teach me how to fuck up more…

I need to be blessed with healthier friendships. I need to not trust so easily. I have to get better… I have to heal.

PRAY FOR ME! At this point, JESUS THE SON, GOD THE FATHER AND THE HOLY GHOST CAN ONLY SAVE ME FROM ME..

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