So, I am lying in bed attempting to actually get some sleep. It’s almost 2o’clock in the morning, so I am a little annoyed by this onset of insomnia due to my weird pregnancy sleep pattern.
ANYWAYS… Lately I have been thinking too much about marriage and what a healthy relationship may be for me. I mean, everyone has their own ideal marriage or whatnot. Mine is sort of like all jumbled. I was thinking oddly about how one day I will watch my son get married and fall in love with a beautiful Queen. These thoughts led me to really reflect on how little I know about men… LITERALLY!
How tragic right??? I’ve spent so much time wanting to be in a real relationship with a man, but I have been going about it all wrong. I kind of treat men like objects of my adornment. One second I like a guy because he’s funny or because he’s mysterious; then suddenly I no longer am interested. I believe I have finally figured out why…
It is because I have never taken the time to get to know a man, from the very beginning of his life. I’ve never made any man open up to me about who he really is from the core because I never really thought it mattered. ODD. RIGHT?
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t treat them like meat or toys… Some… I actually have had friendships with. Even then, I only recall wanting to be “with them” so that they could see how awesome I was, how worthy I was of their affection and time. WOW. I have a lot of maturing to do.
I have finally found the root of my problem with relationships. I need to have open conversations with whomever comes in my life next about who they were before college, before the job, before they became a “man”. Just like I express myself, I need a man who is willing to do the same so that I can see him as the human he is instead of a potential husband or mate.
MENS FEELINGS MATTER!!!! MENS TRUTHS MATTER!!!!!!!!!!!